I’m a first time mom and this whole pregnancy I’ve been impatient and super excited and ready...until now. I’m finally used to pregnancy and I’m finally all 100% prepared for my baby so now the overexcitement of getting to the end is gone. Instead, I’m getting anxious about what’s about to happen. Both L&D, and bringing baby home and beyond. My life is gonna change. I like my life and I love my husband and I’m afraid somehow the perfect parts of my life will disappear. It sounds selfish, but I am just hoping that my wonderful baby will come into the world and make me feel like I finally have everything, instead of the world as I know it completely needing to be rebuilt. It is hard to explain but I have felt so clingy and small lately, wanting to absorb as much special time with my husband and I’ve felt an overwhelming need for my mom lately which is really rare for me.

I would be destroyed if anything happened to my baby, and I already love him and want him so bad. But I am just getting scared for the big life change and getting through all these parts that other parents complain about being terrible, and being a good mom in my hardest moments with a newborn when I don’t even know what that means. I wish I could get excited again...but at least the time is going fast for the first time in pregnancy. I hope everything will make sense and feel right when baby is placed in my arms and my relationship with my husband will grow stronger than ever.