When I was 17 I got the implant in my arm, which sounded like a good plan until I got all of the side effects. I had food aversions, mood swings, suicidal thoughts, and I just became deeply depressed. Needless to say I decided to get it removed and move to a simpler notice of birth control. I started the pill. I stopped taking the birth control pills when I was 21 years old. Fast forward to now, been trying for a year and two months. Off the pill and still not pregnant. Me and my husband have tried everything. Temping, checking ovulation, different positions, not getting up after sex, started having sex more frequently, then we cut back to every other day. And still cycle by cycle AF shows her face every month somedays a little later than others. There is nothing worse that having all the signs even faint lines on tests and then your period comes. When your period comes, you scroll through social media hoping to ease your mind only to find all your friends and people you went to school with either pregnant again or showing off the baby they already have. Or , and this one is my favorite (sarcasm), complaining that you never get sleep

Or time to yourself anyone because you have a child to take care of. And all I ever want to comment is there are women out there including myself trying to have what you have and you’re taking it for granted. But every time, I bite my tongue and keep quiet and every time my period shows up like clock work. The depression has gotten worse and makes me feel as if I can’t do what a women was put on this earth to do. It makes me feel like a failure. I honestly don’t know how much more of this I can possibly take.

** sorry for the rant

- just very upset right now and DH doesn’t understand it-