I’ve always had a pretty easy life. Good upbringing, loving family, a good education, a good church, and a wonderful husband. Years ago (despite having zero reason to think so and coming from a very fertile family) I had this sinking feeling that because I’ve had an easy life, getting pregnant will be the one thing God makes difficult for me. The logical side of me thought “no, that’s silly, you’re young and healthy”. Yet here we are, 9 months of TTC and never a positive test. Never a late period. All fertility tests have come back normal. Yet the months are flying by with no joy. I’ve always been strong in my faith, but this journey has shook me so hard that I feel further away from God than ever before. Literally EVERYONE close to me is pregnant. Everyone around me is sharing joy and God still hasn’t given me the gift that I desire so badly. I’ve always felt a deep calling to be a mother, but now I just feel like God has forgotten me. I literally cannot comprehend why it hasn’t happened. It makes no sense. I used to leave church feeling uplifted. Now, I leave feeling confused and angry. If He’s so good, than why is He watching me suffer through this pain? I’m bawling as I type this. I can’t cope anymore. I don’t want to live another day feeling this way. 😥