I get so jealous when I see other women having beautiful healthy babies. It’s like I’m happy for them but sad for myself. I have had a total of 3 miscarriages. I had one back in 2015 at 5 weeks & the other two I had both around 8 weeks last year. I remember how happy I was peeing on a stick & seeing that line pop up. I remember seeing that digital word pregnant pop up a few days after my test. I remember filling out paperwork with butterflies in my stomach at my OB’s office. I remember the horrible anxiety I felt when getting an ultrasound done but then the instant relief after seeing the heartbeat flutter around. I miss being pregnant so badly. I wasn’t pregnant for long but I wanted a baby so bad that I would rub my stomach & talk out loud to my little one daily. I want to be a mom more than anything. I hate being jealous & sad when I see people announce their pregnancies. I hate getting depressed when I sit & think about my babies too much. I hate that I can’t even handle being in the glow announcements room because of the jealousy. I just want to get over this. We aren’t trying right now we agreed to give it a year so in December we will be. I got pregnant easily with my two pregnancies last year they were planned but I’m scared it won’t happen that fast again in the future. Ugh. 😔