So I just recently got out of almost 2 year relationship with the person I thought I was gonna spend the rest of my life with, as you can see I was wrong. For most of those 2 years our whole relationship was one sided, I was never doing enough for him and would never be as good as he was. It made me feel horrible inside and make me feel so unappreciated and unimportant to him, so many days I would tell him “I just feel like you hate me” because I wasn’t getting the love and affection I needed in my relationship, so I looked for it else where I started doing things that were way out of my character like talking to guys I worked with that showed me the attention I do craved, and eventually cheating on my best friend because I wasn’t satisfied. Our relationship was never perfect from the beginning but I noticed a change in my self that I wasn’t happy with, I was becoming a different person that I didn’t like. We had broke up 3 times with in 6 months, every time I’d move out of our house and back with my parents that lived and hour away from my job and school, and every time I’d always go back because I felt like it was convenient for me because he was so close to everything, eventually I started realizing I was with him for the wrong reasons I was being selfish and I overall wasn’t happy with him anymore, I couldn’t see my future with him anymore, there was not passion or love. So I decided I needed to think about him and myself and leave him, because I needed to work on my happiness and truly figure out what makes me happy cause all I wanted all the time was to be with someone at all times. Its been the hardest month of my life, living so far from my school and work, trying to find motivation to keep moving forward is so hard. My life flipped upside down in a matter of seconds, I wouldn’t change my decision now because I know In my heart it was the right one, but now I’m struggling with myself and my happiness, I feel like I can’t talk to people without shutting down, and I feel like I’m in a hole I cant get myself out off. I’ve never felt more defeated and more like a failure in my life. I don’t know what the first steps are to make myself better or to figure out what true happiness and love are.