Yesterday was our 5 year wedding anniversary.

I asked that my only "gift" be that he finished inside me. That didnt happen, he drank too much and couldn't finish. It's not like it mattered anyways, because I'm in the middle of an anovulatory cycle.

I just want a partner that is enthusiastic to have a family with me. He is not. I dont know if he ever will be. Its not like we have all the time in the world to figure it out, and my cycles are completely irregular. I just know that we aren't going to be the couple that gets pregnant on the first shot.

I see all these posts of women who have men excited to TTC, excited to make a baby. Why can't my man be like that? I woke up 1 day after our 5th anniversary with tears in my eyes and a pit in my throat.