WHY don’t I trust my husband?

Please please don’t tell me oh leave etc. Or be mean 😩 I need genuine advice or perhaps someone has been in my situation? What helped you?

I don’t know WHY i have trust issues. Part of me blames my past. Part of me blames the fact cheating seems so “common” these days. He has never ever given me any reason to worry. He never goes out without me, I have the passcodes to his phones, he leaves them lying about when in the shower, he doesn’t drink. I know in my rational thought process that I don’t need to worry. I also have anxiety and I overthink everything, i create scenarios in my head. We keep going over the same things, I know it annoys him now but sometimes I need the reassurance. I love him to my bones, sometimes I think I love him TOO much? I love being in a relationship but I hate the vulnerability that comes with it, the control someone has. The power to destroy you 😓😓😓 I guess I just need to vent too.