Being raped has ruined me

So my friend and I were hanging out and venting about life. He keep touching me and getting close to me. I keep telling him stop. Eventually he started throwing himself at me trying to kiss me I keep turning away telling him I can't do this and stop but he wouldn't get his hands off me. He forced me to role over and he tried to take off my pants I held on to them, he got them down and I tried to pull them up multiple times he ended up raping me I was trying to push him off and pull my pants up he wouldn't stop I started crying I keep saying no stop I can't do this but he continued he. He said this stays between us how am I supposed to not say anything to anyone when he forced me after I said not stop I can't do this like 50 times and now I don't want to eat or go to school and I cry myself to sleep. I feel like I did something wrong for this to happen I feel like it's my fault

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COMMENT (8)

Sa

Posted at
You can file an anonymous report online. If you do name yourself you can tell the officers that you made the report later if you choose but you do need to make a report.... Its hard very hard. I won't lie to you and say its going to be easy. The whole healing process takes time but it does get easier. However you cant truly heal until justice is given to you and you may live in fear because of this if he isn't given what he deserves. Jail time. If you think you can't do it for yourself then think of it like this- would you want your mom, sister, daughter, best friend, aunt, grandma or any female close to you to hide this and live with it for the rest of their lives in suppressed forced silence? No, and they don't want that for you either. Get a trusted female to confide in if you need to. Its better to have someone to be there for support and because of the situation I suggest someone of the opposite sex of your attacker. This isnt your fault. It never was or will be. If you need another reason to file ( I say if you need another reson because I was young and scared when it happened to me so I did need another reason) then think of it like this- what if he has done this before? What if he's already done it again? What if he will and or is planning to do it again? I hate to say this because I don't want it to scare you or anything but maybe even to you.... Or your sister (if you have one), cousin, or best friend.... Again.....? What if there is another/many girls out there that had a more violent experience with him or isn't as strong as you that just needs you to come forward to find the strength to come forward about him/her attacker for herself? What if YOU could/will SAVE another girl by coming forward? Because that just may be true. But through it all remember IT WAS/ IS NEVER WHAT YOU WANTED OR YOUR FAULT IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM!!!! At times if he denies and it does go to court his attorneys may try to say or put it in your head that you wanted it but changed your mind after so you lied and that isnt true. Dont let them confuse you. You go in there, you stay strong, you tell them YOUR story, get your justice, and TAKE YOUR LIFE BACK. It's a long road but its so worth it to take your life and show him and everyone else that him, what he did, or anything defines you- because YOU define YOU and YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!if you need support, have questions, just want to talk, anything just message me. -anytime

Sa

Savannah • Apr 16, 2019
I also wanted to ask how old are you?

Sa

Savannah • Apr 16, 2019
I'm so glad to hear it's going well keep your support close they will be what gives you strength when you think you have nothing left to keep fighting 💖 make sure you thank em too haha good luck with the rest of your story just remember it's YOUR story and you decide what happens next keep us updated 💙

Ba

Bay • Mar 29, 2019
Its been a long ride so far its going to be a long rode but i have lots of support from everyone

As

Posted at
This wasn't your fault. You said no and he refused to listen. Can you talk to someone about what happened? Maybe a parent or friend or teacher? If your feel comfortable with talking to someone you should. It will help with the healing process sweetie. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. It never should have happened at all but it wasnt your fault.

Ba

Bay • Mar 7, 2019
Thank you im going to go talk to someone tomorrow about it i think i might also talk to my brother about it he has always been there to listen to me its just hard sor me to really tell him because i hate when he sees me in a bad state of mental and physical health