After a early miscarriage in June I was paranoid for most of my pregnancy that something would be wrong. It wasn't until 16 weeks and I started feeling the baby move that I felt confident our little bean was healthy. Saturday I had my 20 week scan and my doctor called today to tell me it looks like the baby has a heart defect. I will be going to a pediatric cardiologist so I won't know more until then. It literally took the wind out of me. We were waiting to find out the sex until birth but now I want to know. I can't stand the thought of something happening and never knowing. My husband keeps telling me it will all work out that we will get through it, that there is so much they can do for heart babies but I keep picturing myself losing this baby and I'm terrified. My heart is shattered and my chest literally hurts right now. We were supposed to start the babies room this weekend and I don't even think I can until I see the cardiologist and find out what we are dealing with. People keep saying it could be minor, or lots of babies need surgery and go on to have healthy lives. But fuck just let me feel how I feel, scared. Its easy to say stay positive who can do that especially after a loss. I am terrified its going to be a chromosomal disorder and that my eggs are fucked and that I will lose my baby.