I gave birth to my son 22 months ago. I was diagnosed with PPD 2 weeks after birth. I was hospitalized, and was put on meds. I had no connection with my son. Finally after about 6 months, I started to have a connection. I honestly don’t know when it stopped. But it did. I cry everyday. I love him. I do. But like I’m missing that connection piece again. My psychiatrist had put me on a new medication so now I’m on two.. like I just don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t want to live. I really truly don’t. I hurt everyday. My son cries every time I’m with him. It would just be so much easier if I wasn’t around. He wouldn’t have to be around horrible mommy.

My husband doesn’t see this. He doesn’t see the pain I go through. He doesn’t understand that I just don’t have the connection with our child. I know that I’m lucky. My two boys are the best thing ever. I just can’t explain what I’m going through.

I could have posted this anonymously, but I don’t want to. I’m a real person, who’s going through something that I wish on no one. I just want to know, is anyone else going through this? Has went through this? Got over this?

It’s 22 months later.. WHY THE HECK DO I STILL FEEL LIKE THIS.