There’s this guy I used to see but we would fight about 60% of the time about stupid things I’d do at the time I didn’t see a problem in what I was doing at all but looking back I definitely understand where he was coming from! I was so stupid and immature. He stopped talking to me completely for about 6 months and we have recently started talking occasionally and some of the time we talk like nothing ever happened but then other times I find it awkward and really don’t know what to say. I really want him back more then anything, he was my first actual real love and I cannot let go of him. I see him frequently, usually if I am doing him a favour and we occasionally hang out but only really when he is drunk (he always comes to me when he is drunk). I’ve spoke to one of his friends and they say he doesn’t stop talking to me / about me when he is drunk but when he is sober he denies anything and changes the subject. I don’t know what to do I truely want him back and would do anything to make it work, he knows how I feel but I don’t really k ow how he actually feels. He tells me he doesn’t care about me AT ALL but that is clearly a lie if he wants to be friends all of a sudden (he come to me after 6 months asking to be friends again).