So there was a concert in our school last few days. (I'm a college student btw) Then there are total of 5 bands. The two were from our school (high school and college) then the other three were like a famous bands in our country. So of course the first one that will perform are the one from our school started by the high school students. Then I video some parts of their covered songs cause I remember something about my bf with the two songs. Then my bf misinterpret it and gets mad and jealous, he said I like the singer smth like that. I tried to explain that it wasn't like that, I just like the song that's all. But he did not believe what I said and asked me

"Why can't you just tell the truth? Can't you lower your pride? You're just like my ex"

BUT I AM TELLING THE TRUTH. I sincerely love him with all my heart. I gave him my all. Why would I cheat or be interested in somebody else. I didn't intend to hurt him.

Then, we argue for some time. I don't want him to sleep with that much of a heavy feeling. So I gave up on explaining to him my true intentions and just said sorry and I begged and begged for his forgiveness until this day and I don't know. *sigh* I'm still guilty that I hurted him that much which is not my intention.

We still act like a couple like we hold each others hand, talk, eat lunch with each other and etc. But there's this invisible distance between us.

Then, this night. After we went home from school. We chatted a few hours, and I asked him "Whatcha doin?" he said he was just staring at the ceiling. When we said good nights to each other. I'm tempted to open his messenger account.. So yeah I opened it and found him chatting in a group chat filled with our classmates but just the 2 circles of friends like 1 group of girls and the other is group of boys including him. He knew that I don't like him interacting with the girls I get jealous with. Especially that one girl in that chat. Ughhh. She's making my inner bitch come out. She's too friendly. She's too clingy. *sighs* So yeah, he was chatting there like they were all close and he was chatting there when he said he was staring ag the ceiling. /putanginangyan/ I lost my sht and cried and cried.

I really don't know what to do anymore.

So here I am, seeking for advice.

On how can I be a more matured girlfriend or better girlfriend for him.

How can I calm the btch inside of me and stop it from slapping that clingy--

I just.. *sighs* I just don't want his love for me fade.. I want to be better really. But I don't know where to start and what to do.. Please help..