you make me mad, but i love you

stressing about money and cleaning the house, and on top of it all, i lost one of my best friends yesterday. pregnancy has really taken its toll on me emotionally and physically.

my husband is in the military and is training for deployment, so i’m wanting to spend as much time with him as i can before he leaves. he is set to deploy the following month after the birth of our first child. so to say i’ve been emotional, is an understatement. as bad as i want our son to be here, i know as soon as he is, dad has to leave. and dad already leaves for 2-4 week periods in between to do his training. dad also hasn’t had the opportunity to be able to come with me to any appointments because of the military, and training, and the sheer fact that my OB is literally an hour and 20 minutes away.

I’m 26 weeks and 1 day pregnant, being due in the middle of June. this pregnancy, is my first pregnancy and i don’t feel beautiful. and it sucks. my husband tells me i look beautiful and says i’m even more so now that i’m pregnant. and he might think so, but the weight i’ve gained in my face, doesn’t make me feel beautiful. he even used to tell me before we got married, that once i became pregnant i’m going to look so pretty. but no pregnancy glow for this mama, at least not yet.

26 weeks exactly (yesterday)

my husband went out to get some car insurance quotes to see if that could help alleviate some of our stress or tight money problems. he was gone for a little longer than i thought he would, since everything is about closed now. but when he got home and walked through the door he gave me a huge hug and handed me this.

now i never go to bath and body works, and i like when i can shampoo and condition my hair and you can still smell it after- but my body wash has never done the same. i guess he went in, maybe looked a little lost, and asked the saleswoman “what can my wife use after or in the shower that will make her skin smell really good so when i’m rubbing her pregnant belly, i can lay there like 😍”

it made my heart really warm and happy that he went out and did something as little as get me body wash, and it’s making me want to cry. we fight over some stupid shit, but it’s coming up on our first wedding anniversary and the first year i hear, is always the hardest. so here’s to our son, and hopefully many more slightly easier years of marriage. i love you J♥️

above are all pictures i’ve taken in the last week when his mom and sisters came to visit. they are the sweetest, and the one pictured is hearing impaired, she loves her brother so much. below are pre pregnancy and the day we went to the courthouse to get married.