No rude comments please!

So I’ve been wanting a baby since I can remember. We tried for 8 months before I got pregnant. Each month I would pray I was pregnant and cry when I got my period because I just wanted a baby so bad. I’m 36 weeks now and I’m half and half and I don’t know why. I love babies but I have a hard time tolerating kids. Will it be different since this will be my own kid? I just don’t understand why I’m feeling this way and I feel absolutely awful for it. I’m just scared once she becomes a kid I’m gonna feel different..