I just need a moment to vent

My husband and I have been trying to conceive for almost 3 years. 2 years ago, we decided to seek the help of a fertility specialist. After lots of testing and blood work, our doctor let us know that I have a low egg reserve and my husband has 0% morphology (meaning his little guys are not perfectly shaped). She recommended we start with 3 rounds IUI (for lack of a better comparison, the turkey baster method) and if that doesn’t work, we would progress to IVF. She mentioned that in most cases, she prefers her patients do at least 6 rounds of IUI but because of my low egg reserve, she wanted to be aggressive. Great, same here. Fast forward through 2 years, 3 rounds of failed IUI, 2 failed rounds of IVF (starting from stimulation phase each time). After our last failed attempt at IVF, our doctor recommended adding HGH (human growth hormone) to help improve egg quality. This is when my husband and I decided to take a break from the fertility process and get through the holidays and enjoy a stress free couple of months before starting again.

January we decided to get a second opinion with another office. Just to see if maybe they could tell us something different. I had my records transferred and in our very first appointment after just 5 minutes of speaking with our new doctor, he looks at us and asks “Did your other doctor ever mention anything about endometriosis?”

“Uhhh, no?”

“Every single one of these issues you have is a side effect of endo”

He schedules some lab work and an ultrasound for our next appointment.

Sure enough, after one, ONE ultrasound, it is confirmed that, not only do I have endometriosis, I have andometriosis AND fibroids. Let me add a little side note that after 2 years with my other doctor had probably had well over 20 ultrasounds. I understand that in most cases, endo cannot be diagnosed with an ultrasound because it’s not visible. 🗣ONE 👏🏼 ULTRASOUND👏🏼 and she could see it all.

I was almost in tears when I left that appointment- not because I was sad (we have a great dr who is performing a laparoscopic procedure to remove it all next month) but because I was so angry at our other office. 2 years without a single positive pregnancy test, nothing ever sticking because my uterus was under so much stress and inflammation. They were legitimately willing to let us keep doing IVF until “hopefully one sticks”.

My message is to all these ladies still dealing with “unknown infertility”: ASK QUESTIONS and get a second opinion. I hate that we put so much trust in doctors without hesitation because we should be able to believe they know better.

End rant.