Advice on family planning?/rant

Question

I’m in the middle of a combined medical/graduate school program that’s 8 years long and just had my first kid during my third year. Luckily, the person running the lab I work in was super supportive of my pregnancy. 
I want to have more kids and don’t want there to be a huge age gap... Ideally I’d have another kid in the next 3-4 years, but I don’t want my boss and the people in charge of the program to think I’m not serious about my career/short-changing them... ALSO by the time I’m done with school I’ll be 30 and then I still have to go to residency for 4-5 years after so I honestly won’t have my “big girl job” until I’m 35, so waiting until then is not an option for me because I want to have kids in my reproductive prime. 
I’m scared to bring up having another kid with my boss... she was okay with the first one but I don’t want to push my luck :/ Being a working/student mom is hard AF. We deal with so many more biases than men...
I don’t know what to do 😭

Answer

I wouldn’t even ask your boss for permission if I were you. She has no say in your family planning imo

Answer

I agree with above. Its awful that as women we have to juggle this decision and hope that we dont lose job prospects because of pregnancy/children. 
Your boss/coworkers/workplace have zero say in your family planning. Get pregnant when you want, tell them about it when you're ready. You aren't required to keep them up to date otherwise. 
I didnt tell my boss I was pregnant until I was 3 months or so. She and everyone else were very supportive. If I get pregnant again, Ill wait just as long. Good luck!

Answer

Sometimes you just have to do it even though it doesn’t make sense for your career. I’m on my second child and will be starting my mat leave at the same time I am taking over the company I own so my partner can retire. It’s bad timing - our clients are going to have to wait months until I am back from maternity leave and I’m a bit concerned about the hard work that will be required to build up my client base again, but I wanted two kids and I wanted them to be less than 4 years apart (they’ll be 3 years exactly). 
I understand the dilemma. I think we might want a third child very soon after this one is born, but I don’t know if my business would survive two maternity leaves in less than 3 years so we’ll have some serious decision making to do soon. 
Don’t ask permission from your boss though. This needs to be a choice you make for your family and it’s fairly unprofessional to ask their permission or have them influence your decision. I’m sure if you have a good relationship and you’re good at your job that you’ll find a way to make it work 💜

Answer

If your boss is a decent human being and you “ask” permission about family planning, it’ll put them in a really awkward position. I’m an immediate supervisor at my work, and I would feel super weird about somebody under me coming and asking me about something like that. If it was okay once, it’ll be okay two or three times. Trust me.

Answer

Your boss is not part of your family planning discussion. You don’t need to tell her anything until you are pregnant again, and you definitely don’t need her permission. Do what is right for you.

Advice on family planning?/rant

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey