Hey everyone!

My husband and I have been trying for the past 7 months for our 4th. I take my vitamins, I do the OPK and temps and this month I even used preseed, i feel like maybe I’m not going to get another baby. Like it’s not in my cards... I know that sometimes it takes a longgggg time. I also know I am extremely blessed to have the children I have as well.

My youngest will be 7 the end of May. She is special needs.. she is finally learning to walk now (which is incredible), she is nonverbal and has several developmental delays.. she’s also underwent two open heart surgeries and another to come.

There is a side of me that is of course scared. She does need me for a long time, and I’m 100% okay with that. But I guess the fear is always going to be there from almost losing her... crazy because she’s so strong and has beat the odds so much!. I’m so thankful for her..

But My heart hurts... I feel like maybe the lord is telling me it isn’t going to happen because my little one needs me more. She’s striding and doing so well overall though.. I just want one more, we both do. Our older two are 11 and 12 (almost 13 come July).

My heart aches. My husband doesn’t get the emotional side. I don’t have friends so figured I’d vent here and hope for some amazing stories like mine... some love and support... I know I have to wait a year before going to the doctors for help (we’ve already discussed that with her).

Here’s a photos of my warrior princess Incase you all are curious ❤️

Baby dust to all!