parents fears

Not sure where to post this so I figured here would be a good place.

I was in and out of foster care and when I turned 18 my foster parents adopted me. I was unlucky enough to know my biological parents. Mainly my egg donor. My dad was a drunk over the road truck driver through out my childhood and my egg donor was a very very abusive controlling manipulative druggy. She abused us relentlessly in every way shape and form possibly. Just for an idea of how bad she was the last time I saw her was when I was 13 and she left me on the streets states away from home bcuz I refused to let her continue to let her prostitute me.

Now that my husband and I are finally pregnant I’ve been having almost panic attacks when I think about 2 things. 1. What if I end up like her and hurt our babies the way she did us?

And 2. What if that phyco finds out about our baby and comes n kid naps her like she did to me and my eldest sister time and time again.......

I have seen multiple counselors over and over again and “talked” about her till I was blue in the face but the fears are still there

When I talked w my husband about it he simply says “that will never happen” we are big hunters here and have enough guns now ext to supply a small army so I know I can defend my home and my baby if she were to come around but the thought still haunts me