Relationship changer post-birth

My husband goes back to work in a few days after having a month off since the birth of our girl. I’d like to say it’s been amazing but we have clashed quite a bit and his habits are extremely frustrating. He could have helped much more than he has too. It’s affected the way I see him now 😔

I am breastfeeding every 2/3hrs but the nights are a total killer as she cluster feeds until 3am and stays unsettled until 5am. It’s been so hard on us both. In the first week my husband would take her at 3am to try and settle her to allow me a few hours sleep. Gradually, up to this point he has stopped doing that because he is ‘too tired’. He does however spend hours on PS4 gaming and sleeps in until 11am, whilst also having a nap in the afternoon. He has no idea the exhaustion I have and I feel like his priorities are all mixed up. He also looses his temper when our girl cries out in the night too, which scares me. I don’t think they have bonded at all 😓.

On top of that I’ve asked if he could keep up with the washing and make dinners. Whilst he is very good at cooking and putting a wash on, he will leave all the dishes out (when we have a dishwasher!!) and all the wrappers and packaging (we have 2 waste disposal boxes in the room!!!) and leave the tops filthy... all the clothes washers he’s done has been taken out of the washer and dumped on the floor of our guest room, in a big messy pile. It makes me want to cry... he is good at starting a job but not finishing it. Every job he does, creates a job for me.

I have spoken to him in many different ways and he will never change his ways. I’m exhausted, overwhelmed and tearful. I just want him to help and be the father and husband I expected him to be during this time. 😭

On the side of this, he keeps bringing up sex and I’ve said I’m not ready yet, so keeps wanting me to satisfy him in other ways. I’m just too exhausted to deal with this too...

He returns to work next week and I can’t wait for him to go...

Has anyone else struggled with their relationships after birth? I knew it would take an adjustment after 9 years with Just the 2 of us, but he doesn’t seem to want to adjust at all.