My father is an abusive man. Always has been since before I was born apparently. He used to be a bad drunk and when he would drink he would get angry and violent. He's a veteran as well so he has PTSD..

Stories from before I was born was that he got in trouble with his commanders in the army for abusing my mother while drunk on base. And attempting to assault his commander that same night.

Fast forward to after I'm born:

I don't remember much from my childhood, I don't think. I believe I may be mentally suppressing my memories.

One thing I do remember is he would trap my sisters in their rooms and spank them many times with a belt and you would hear their screams begging him to stop.

Another thing I vaguely remember (more so because my location) : he and my mother began fighting so my mother sent me, my cousin, and my 2 sisters to our bedroom to play (my middle sister refused to leave my mother's side) I remember hearing screaming and hollaring and things slamming. Then I remember being led out of the room by poloce because my mother had called the cops.. apparently during the time in the bedroom my father had pulled a gun on my mother and threatened to kill her but my sister stepped in the way. My father then stormed out of the house (slamming door) and he grabbed a car battery from the porch and threw it through my mother's car windshield. He went to jail that night.. got out shortly after.

Thats about all I remember from my young childhood.... now into my teen years, my father didn't have a job. he was home.24/7.

My weekends off school (15- 16 years old) I'd like to sleep in and catch up on sleep I missed during the week

I never really could because he would be up early slamming cabinet doors and cussing and stomping through the house then start yelling at me to get up and wash dishes because he didn't have a clean plate/bowl for breakfast. Or if I didn't have load the dishwasher or feed the pets within an hour of being home from school I'd be called lazy and ungrateful, meanwhile I would be working on homework....he's home all the time.. never did any cleaning or taking care of the pets.

Fast forward to 21-22 years old. My husband and I are at my parents and my dad isn't a fan of my husband because my husband keeps switching jobs, which puts us behind on bills. (Keep in mind my father hasn't had a job for almost 10 years, and during my parents early marriage my father changed jobs often as well, my mother often had to work 3 jobs just to pay bills)

anywho my dh and I are over and my father mutters something under his breath when we mention my husband's job search. I step out of the house for something in the car. by the time I return literally 5 minutes later my husband and my father are in a screaming match and my husband leaves my parents place and drives up the road to cool down. When he returns my father says to me "if he comes back in this yard I will blow his brains out". -ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, YOU THREATENED TO KILL MY HUSBAND- when my father said that my mother stepped in and told my father that was unneccessary and completely inappropriate to say. I ended up leaving with my husband and my husband and my father haven't talked since, almost 2 years.

In January , my father was out of town and my mother wanted their storage building cleaned so my dh and I come help. During the cleaning we leave an old bed frame in the yard. My father comes back a few days later and sees the bed frame and gets beyond pissed because my husband was at his (father's) house "without permission" keep in mind my mother wanted our help. My father then proceeds to call my mother a "fucking cunt. you always lie to me. You're a worthless piece of shit." And literally breaks his bedroom door down to where pieces of door fly and almost hit my 1 week old nephew.

My mother finally got the courage to get a restraining order against my father. so my father is now living with his father in Florida.

My father has not messaged me since January of this year. he has messaged both my sisters and hasn't said anything to me. My birthday was in February, he put $ into my checking account but never said happy birthday or anything.

It's disappointing to literally never talk to my father, but since he threatened my husband I stopped caring about him.

I now have anxiety when someone raises their voice or loud noises like slamming. My father's abuse fucked me up emotionally/mentally for the rest of my life.

I'm not writing this to get sympathy I just need somewhere to express my story.