I was in a relationship with someone for about six months and I don’t know how or why but I never saw the signs. She would hit me, make fun of my insecurities, and tear me down mentally and emotionally. I told her every single thing about myself, because she made me trust her, and she made it feel like love. She’d make me talk, then get mad at me. I told her i cut, how i tried to commit suicide four times, about my eating disorder, and she flipped it around to be about her. Then one night she broke up with me over text. At first I was happy, knowing I was free, but in the next couple days it hit me like a ton of bricks. I know i’m not okay. I started picking up my very bad old habits, drinking myself into oblivion, smoking til I feel nothing at all and hurting myself and doing anything possible to numb the pain, but nothing seems to do it. She broke me and I don’t know how to help myself or how I can possibly recover from this when i’ve formed these addictions to hurting myself and struggling to recover from the things she implanted in my head. I don’t know why i’m putting this here, I just have no one anymore. Thanks for reading if you made it this far. If anyone has been through the same thing or has advice I would appreciate it greatly.