The relationship with my boyfriend,  (current husband) Steve, was going well. He made good money and really wanted me to stay home while he worked. He enjoyed having a clean house and hot meals when he arrived home, and didn't mind asking for it if I wasn't working. We didn't have any children back then. And... I didn't mind not working! So that was our arrangement. After living together for awhile, we naturally talked about getting married and having children eventually. We fought a lot... But not about anything that couldn't be worked out. Our sex life was good, and we had a lot of it... But it wasn't a page out of 50 Shades.

One night I decided I was going to get with the times and make a Facebook account. I had no social media, and at this point, no friends. So I thought it may get me back in contact with those I hadn't seen in awhile. And oh boy did it... I didn't even have that sucker up for 24 hours when I got a message. Yep... It was Cameron. The message read, "God I have been looking for you, you have no idea! Do you know how in love with you I was? I am? I asked everyone if they had seen you. I can't believe I found your Facebook. I've looked for you online over a thousand times. I've looked everywhere. Please call me. I have to talk to you. 555-5555."

I told Steve (boyfriend now husband) that Cameron messaged me on Facebook. He knew about my past with Cameron. He knew that I had been cheating on him with cameron when we first became exclusive, but before we moved in together. He knew because I told him when he first asked me to live with him. If we were going to take that step, I felt it was only fair that I came clean with him, so he could break up with me if he wanted to, before we went any further. Obviously he wasn't happy, but still wanted to move in together. Basically, there was an overlap with my relationships. Before Cameron went away, things were getting serious with Steve, and while I had stopped seeing anyone else, I never gave up my relationship with Cameron. But then Cameron went away, and shortly after, I moved in with Steve. I guess Steve felt more comfortable knowing Cameron was gone. Steve asked me about Cameron being in jail. I told him that a friend of mine told me a while back, that Cameron was out. He definitely didn't like that Cameron was now trying to get in touch with me, which I completely understood. I told him I wouldn't respond and I would get rid of my Facebook. And he was satisfied with that answer. But thats not what I did.

I deleted my facebook, but I called Cameron. Cameron wanted to see me again. He begged and pleaded, and I finally gave in. I was immature still, and weak for him. My life since he had went away revolved around the thoughts of "what if". What if I had just committed to him? He would have stopped doing anything i asked him to, if it meant that he could be with me. What if? And although my morals constantly weighed on my pillow when I went to bed with Steve every night... I was obsessed. Cameron was so attractive, so powerful, I was untouchable with him around. I was given respect and if anyone doubted that, Cameron was there to put them in their place. You wouldn't dare cross him, or me for that matter. I saw what he would do, if anyone tried. And that meant, just like Cameron, what I said- went. The power was intoxicating. The protection was the safest feeling I had ever felt. And it wasn't just because he had a little money, or was well known, it was because of him. He was 6'3 and built like a brick wall. He carried an air of confidence and strength. He showed no weakness. He was intimidating, to say the least. The reason I had stayed distant, in the first place. But all of those reasons were also exactly why I didn't stay away completely. There was no better feeling, than being his. The fantasy of having sex with him was something I visited often. And still do.

There isn't much left to tell, but Glow is cutting me off here. I'll post the end in, "Part 3.5".