So here's what's up.

Let's say this 26 year old woman gets pregnant. Oopsy.

She lives in a two bedroom place with her roommate, her male and very close friend. Whom she did the deed with spontaneously because they've always kinda had those kinds of feeling for each other but never dated because they knew it wouldn't work. They are two different religions, their families hate each other, all that kind of crap... Well, this night those feels and the moment just kind of boiled over and sex happened. It wasn't a big deal. Everything goes back to normal the next day after some awkward laughing and apologizing.

Meanwhile around the same time the girls ex-husband comes to visit her. They still love each other very much but got devorced because they're like matches and gasoline together and finally accepted it after 9 years together. Well, the missing each other and longing heats things up and sex happens again.

Now the woman had to explain to both of these guys that she's pregnant, too far along before realising it to abort, and do they want a paternity test because, guess what, there's two possible fathers, my bad 🤷‍♀️

Fyi the most uncomfortable conversations I've ever had in my life, right after asking my mom for birth control when I was 16.

If you're wondering why it took her so long: 1. She used condoms both times 2. She has PSOS so think really irregular periods *if she has them at all* and random bloating and cramps. Along with all the body hair to be mistaken as a she-wookie 🙄

Well life happens, yall. Guess I need to buy some diapers and baby clothes.

Anyway what is pissing me off is the room mates mother. Who is acting like since prego was living with her son, then they are automatically in a relationship, his property, or married? One of the three, idk, but she wants a paternity test and to sue the potential mother of her grandchild. Why? Well, it's a damn mystery because she won't give us a solid answer. We thought maybe it was because she's a hyper-religious nut, but her husband (roomies dad) says he doesn't think so. Btw her husband is a totally normal man who is as confused as we are and is just trying to stay out of it. Which is annoying but I can't blame him. Now apparently she wants to sue me into marrying her son, whom whole-heartedly agrees with me is hilarious and not happening.

Basically my current mood:

Found out I have a mini human in me and it wasn't just my lust for empty carbs and PSOS/night shift bloat this time... That was almost two months ago and I'm still shocked and procrastinating doing anything mom related tbh.

Told the maybe dads... Which was not fun.

Now one of their moms wants to bully me into marrying her son or probably taking my baby away by whatever means necessary if it is even his. She'll also probably try to light me on fire or some shit if she finds out I'm not Catholic too.

So now I'm sitting here bitching about it while trying to figure out if I should keep crying or just laugh it off....or maybe tell my roomie his mom is NUTS for the 153rd time this month and him huff and say "I know".

But really I'm freaking out and not ready for this yall. I barely have a savings account and still need a roommate to afford a place outside the ghetto. A baby?? Really?? I'm assuming I can't sue Trojan (that was a JOKE) so I'm taking life one hour at a time here and not sleeping.

Update***

Ok let me clarify because some of you are confused.

1. I am not and was not in a relationship with either of these guys. No one cheated. The 3 of us are all adults and understand what is happening with no hard feelings.

2. I can barely afford shit right now because I just finished college, and you know, loans and shit. I just got my career started and it's not that I couldn't afford a baby if I moved to a smaller place or different city maybe but my lease isn't up for almost a year. Once my career is more settled in I won't need anyone's crazy mom to buy me jack shit. And idk if you noticed but I'm internally FREAKING OUT still. But right shame on me for ranting in a rant group.

3. My "oopsy" and gif is just me making light of a stressful situation. This sucks, don't let my light hearted-ness fool you. I also lost my first two LO during my marriage and I knew a long time ago if I was pregnant again and nothing happened it would be a miracle I would be greatful for. AND I AM. So fuck your snobby opinions and telling me I act like I'm 15. Not everyone has the same sense of humor as you. Deal with it.

To everyone else, THANK you. I appreciate some support.

I just need my $$

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey