Completely lost

UPDATE: WELL I HAVE BEEN COMPLETELY IGNORED BY HIM, I SUSPECT HE HAS ANOTHER GIRLFRIEND WHICH IS WHY HE WAS PREVENTING ME FROM SEEING HIM. I LEFT HIM AND MOVED ON, HE'S A COMPLETE ASSHOLE AND I WISH HIS SORRY ASS A COMPLETE RECOVERY.

I don't know what to do. My boyfriend was very sick recently with a flu virus and almost died of pneumonia. He's been in the hospital for a few weeks, and he asked me to not come and see him until he feels better - the first time I went he said he didn't want me to see him like that. I don't want to get him upset, so I have been relying on a friend of his to give me updates. I am feeling horrible not being with him. I feel helpless sometimes, and our relationship has been good but now I feel a shift. He has suffered some temporary paralysis and I wonder if he is worried about how I see him. I love him so much, I don't care how he looks but he is very self conscious about it. Has anyone had someone who was sick and just distanced themselves from you? What did you do? I want to be supportive and trying to focus on him first, our relationship can be second.