Tomorrow I have to go to the doctors by myself for my physical.

Now this my seem like something easy peasy.....,...,.,,.... but I hate going to the doctors. I always freak out so heart rate is always higher than normal. And this time I’ll be going alone so I’ll have to fill out the paperwork without help (never done it before) and I’m 16, I feel sooo stupid. They are going to tell me I’m overweight (again) but they don’t know what I’ve done to try and lose weight. I’m going to fill out the “mental health” form. (Like the one that asks “ if I have a normal sleep schedule” or “do I eat regularly” or “have I ever thought about hurting myself”) and they “didn’t like” my answers during my last physical and they won’t like them this time. I know I should trust them with everything and tell them what’s wrong but it’s so hard when I can’t admit I have a problem. I just don’t have time to deal with mental health.

I also need to ask them about these “hive like” bumps that appear on my arm at random. I’m probably just making this whole situation a big deal and I’m overreacting as usual. It’s just that when I go to the doctors my horribly low self esteem gets put even lower and I leave feeling like crap!!!

I’m such an idiot and I just need to suck it up.