I’m 25 years old and 20 weeks pregnant with our third child, first pregnancy after miscarriage. I have anxiety and recovering from PTSD. My dad abandoned our family when I was 15, after years of abuse to my mom and my sisters.

I was always a good kid in school. Top of the class, plenty of friends, people liked me. I always felt like I wasn’t enough though, like something was missing. That’s when I fell in love.

My love story is probably not all that common but I met him at 13, started dating seriously at 14, engaged at 21 and married at 23. Had my first child at 22 and my second at 24, miscarried at 25.

From the beginning we always had an amazing relationship. We were always honest with eachother and never really had fights. Until yesterday.

I honestly have no idea how it escalated so quickly...

My one year old had an ear infection so I stayed home with him while my husband was at work and daughter was in daycare. The day before, my phone fell in water so it’s been glitching but it was still working so I didn’t do anything about it.

At around 12:30 pm I get a call from the daycare that my daughter fell while playing and possibly has a broken arm. Normally I would have picked her up and while on our way to the hospital I would call my husband but I had my son with me so I had to call him first to figure out a plan. Called once, no answer. Called twice, three times, four, no answer.

Called his work. No answer. I was starting to freak out.

Decided to bring my son with me and went to get my daughter from daycare and went straight to the ER.

Still tried to call him, text him, no answer.

I was sitting in the ER for three hours THREE HOURS with a crying 3 year old in pain and a sick 1 year old before he showed up, literally seconds before we got called.

Didn’t have time to talk, he took our son to bring it to his sister’s while I went in with my daughter.

He came back alone while they were getting the cast in and then we headed home. We didn’t talk. I was holding back tears. We put the kids to bed and sat silently for a good hour on the couch before he started talking.

He said that they were in a meeting and he didn’t have his phone with him. He apologized. He always has his phone with him, always. I was confused.

I started crying. I was so overwhelmed. Scared. Hurt. I tried to explain that to him. He said “and how do you think I feel? We miss work so much because of the kids, because they are always sick or getting hurt, I’m trying so hard to perform better at my job but you always call me whenever something happens and you make me leave work!”

I can’t even put into words how that made me feel. My brain stopped working. I just stared at him. I don’t think I even blinked. I started to play with my wedding ring, debating if I should take it off and throw it in his face.

Then our 3 year old woke up.

Part 2:

He looked at me and was like “Well... are you going to do something?” I ran upstairs to see what was going on and she was in pain so I gave her another dose of medication and stayed with her a bit. I laid in bed with her and fell asleep...

Two hours later (it was around 1 am) I wake up in horrible pain. I get up, slowly make my way to out bedroom and he’s wide awake, sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at me.

I started laughing. Slowly at first but more and more until I was in tears. He started to laugh too. It’s 1 am, both our kids are on medication and we’re sitting here laughing our asses off. Then he looks at me seriously and says “I don’t know what the fuck happened. I’m not like this. We’re not like this. I’m stressed out at work and we just got a new sales director and I wanted to make a good impression. (I knew about it as he had mentioned it maybe two weeks ago but I forgot).

Then it got me thinking about us and where we are in our lives. He has a job that he loves but in a field that’s becoming outdated (he works in a record and movie store as the assistant manager). I’m a dance teacher who can’t really do much right now because I mostly teach pointe and I’m pregnant. I will admit that I have a much more flexible schedule because of that and am able to take off of work more often. It worked for us fine until now. We are both still very young (he’s 26) and still struggling a lot with balancing work/family life. We are about to be outnumbered and the thought of that scares me because we chose to have our kids close in age and they are still young and needing us a lot.

It really made me realize a lot of things. We haven’t been communicating as much lately and I think that plays a big part in a successful relationship. Something so dumb escalated so quickly and we both handled it poorly instead of just really talking to eachother.

I’m going through so much shit right now that I forgot that I wasn’t alone in all of this.

PS: Make-up sex at 2 am is really good.

PPS: I really feel like a crybaby in all of this.