So with my first I had severe postpartum depression.... I’m currently 9weeks2 days with my second.... and I don’t even know myself anymore.... with my first I gained over 80 pounds AFTER I had my daughter and once u got my postpartum under control , I worked hard to loose 100 pounds. I have been having a HARD time allowing myself to eat more carbs even though I know I need to, I’m disgusted by my body. I have myself having thoughts of not being a good mom anymore because my morning sickness is so terrible I have no energy to do a whole lot with my daughter (4years old) . Because of this it seems like she went from being a huge mommas girl to no longer asking me to do as much like she used to walk past her dad to ask if I could get her something. Or she’d always sit next to me when in the couch but now she sits next to her dad. I’m not close with my family because they were toxic and my mom was physically and mentally abusive causing my postpartum to be worse, she put her hands on me when my daughter was 2 right in front of her well it’s been two years since I’ve seen her and now I’m feeling like a terrible mother because I took my daughter away from her even though she was bringing me down and tell my daughter to tell me that she hates me etc..my first I was so emotional when pregnant and now it seems like I’m more irritated with everyone than emotional. In a stay at home mom (but have my own hair salon in my home that I do nights and weekends) and I feel stir crazy being at home and cleaning and cooking before I loved this ... I love staying at home and taking care of the home and our daughter . Now I’m resentful that my husband leaves everyday etc... idk if this makes sense but I can’t figure out if I’m feeling all of this because I’m pregnant and my hormones are crazy or if it’s signs of postpartum. With my first I didn’t notice any postpartum symptoms while pregnant it was all after. I just don’t. Want it to get out of control like last time. Sorry if this doesn’t make sense .