Alright. Listen up. This post isn’t about jealousy. I already know some people are going to think it is... It’s not. I just wanna know if anyone else ever feels like this-

I do my best trying to make friends and for people to like me- before anyone says anything about conforming— I don’t. I join clubs I am nice to people I offer friendship and kindness to people that never expect that kind of attention from anyone and I often times feel like I am on the outside.

I was formerly part of my high school softball team, but I recently quit because I didn’t feel like part of the team, everyone always made plans to eat out before or after game and hang out after practice, but I was never invited.

I’m always involved in our drama club productions and we just preformed Grease. I made a lot of new friends, but i just didn’t feel right about it. My best friend was part of the set crew, and she made new friends, like me. The difference there though, is that she was invited to dinner before practice, she made lasting bonds with people.

Even though people I don’t know often tell me that I am inspiring and absolutely hilarious, I still feel like nobody really means it. It always seems like if they meant what they said, about me being awesome and one of their favorite people they would maybe make as big of an effort to include me as I do to include myself.

Besides- I’m not about to invite myself to dinner with them. If they don’t want me there then I guess I won’t go. I just wonder if Im doing something wrong or if I am just not as good of a friend as people tell me I am.