So I just wanted to share what's been going on in my life. We have a beautiful 1 year old baby girl. Around Thanksgiving we decided we wanted to try for another baby. We had a chemical pregnancy and a couple false positives. I just basically gave up, frustrated with God. I had really lost my faith then. Then my pastors wife came up to me and shared this bible study they were started and I decided to go. Well let me tell you I really found my faith again. In January i had decided to stop trying to get pregnant. I decided to focus on myself for a bit. I've always wanted to lose weight. I have lost over 20 pounds. I feel great. I'm starting to find myself.

Me and my husband have been having a rocky time since we decided to step back, he contributes it to me eating less. I think it's because I felt less connected to him since all he has been talking about is a baby. Then I had a scare in March, I thought I was pregnant. I was scared. I thought I dont want another, I'm not capable. Then I was talking to one of my friends and we talked about babies. My husband and I talked for a long time about our debt and wanting to grow the family and how his bosses are trying to make it so I can stay home. Then my husband gets a promotion. I go to my bible study and it is all about what God is telling you to do and how the enemy will try to stop you.

It hit home so hard. I realized something. I had been hearing God say to me that right now is the time to have another baby. That it wasnt a few months ago. It was right NOW. So that night me and my husband made love. We hadn't really had too much time like this recently. I felt so connected to him. I felt so spiritually connected. We didnt hold back that night.

All week I haven't waivered. I want another baby. I stopped because I lost my faith, I wanted to lose weight and be healthy. God told me I can have both. I can be healthy and be pregnant. I can still exercise. I can still be me. So my husband and I while we are scared about have another baby have decided to trust God. We are not tracking, or taking ovulation tests. We are just going to love each other and trust in his timing. So I will let you know if this month was really the month.

Here is to trusting in God. Wish us luck.