before you continue reading, something you should know about me is that I don’t hold grudges. I don’t know why, I just find it so hard to stay mad at people. There’s literally only one person who I actually truly hate, and that’s who this story is about. I just don’t know why I can’t let this go.

btw this actually happened three years ago, but I didn’t find out about it until last year. I just still can’t let it go.

I don’t really know how to transition into this, so i’m just gonna say it. I felt like my boyfriend was hiding something bc there were certain things he didn’t like to talk about & some things he said that were concerning, so I asked him about it. I didn’t know what to expect, but when he told me that he was raped by one of his closest friends, my heart broke. We were both crying and it just hurt so badly, bc it had already happened and there was nothing I could do. I was the only one he ever told, so it was so much to put all of me at once. I just love him so much & I would never wish that on anyone. The worst part was I had to see that person almost everyday bc I went to school with him, and I just wanted to slap him. At one point, I confronted him about it, and he said, “oh it was just experimenting. he wanted it. he might be gay, so i’d watch out if I were you.” (the friend was a guy btw) and when he said this it just infuriated me, bc my bf made it clear that it was not consensual, and the fact that he played it off like that, and was amused by how angry it made me was disgusting. the whole thing just made me sick. my boyfriend and I are very close & I know he wouldn’t lie about something like that. He has never lied to me before, & I don’t know why he would. If he was gay, he could have told me, bc while that would have made me sad bc I love him, I am not against gay people & would have still supported him. My bf says he is fine now, but at the time he almost committed suicide bc he felt guilty, which just breaks my heart, bc it wasn’t & NEVER is the victims fault. I wanted to tell someone, but my bf didn’t want to, bc we live in the south, where people are more conservative & he was scared people would think he was gay and hate him. The whole thing just makes me so sick bc there’s nothing I can do & I just want his friend to be punished.