This has been the hardest pregnancy I’ve gone through. I had a super smooth one the first time around. I had pain from 36 weeks + last time but it was localized to my pelvis. It felt like it was going to crack open. Which I’ve heard was pretty normal. This time around, I’ve practically been in pain and agony the entire time. I’ve had depression, anxiety, emotional issues, and I’m glad to say I’ve made it nearly to my due date without issue. But as it gets closer and closer, I’m having terrible back pain. I know it’s not labor. But it surely compares.

I’m in tears. I want to just shut myself off to my room and not talk to anyone because I’m in so much pain and no one truly understands. They tell me it’s normal and my husband especially thinks I’m using it as an excuse to lay around or not have sex which isn’t the case. I do want to have sex but my back feels broken. I wake up and my back feels like I’ve worked out all day and lifted heavy things incorrectly when in fact I’ve done nothing. It’s disappointing. I don’t feel like it’s nothing, it is very real and very painful for me and nothing helps. Yet I have no one to talk to about it because they just think I’m complaining but I truly feel like I’m trapped in a body and I have no say or anything about how I feel. I just have to put up with it because it’s normal. But it really doesn’t feel normal. It’s the worst pain I’ve felt besides contractions. I was induced with pitocin with my first so I know how bad contractions feel and this is exactly how much pain I’m in.

Idk the point of this post but maybe some other unlucky pregnant woman knows how I’m feeling. I just feel like I’m the only person suffering and everyone around me feels normal and able and they’re judging me for not being able to keep up.