**edit** I know he knows my true feelings but he doesn't want to end things because he loves me and we have a good life. I don't want to leave him and hurt him. I would rather never feel romantically in love than hurt his feelings

Yeah I know shitty person. I didn't love my husband when we dated. I didn't love him on our wedding day. I don't love him today. I always thought we would end but he always fought for us and I lacked the confidence to fight for what I wanted. So I just went along hoping his mind would someday change.

Now we have a wonderful beautiful child together.

I wish I could love my husband. I have told him in the past that I'm afraid I never loved him but I backtracked and lied and said I just said it out of confusion and I didn't mean it. I could see how much it would crush him to know the truth. I really wish I could love him romantically. Is it possible to make yourself love a good person because they are a good person? Can I force that "spark"? Everything I have read about fixing relationships is about falling BACK in love with someone and I need to learn to love him in a romantic spark kind of way.

Anyone have any actual advice? I'm finding nothing on Google and I'm afraid of going to a counselor.