Valentines day this year I had an ectopic pregnancy rupture, around 7 weeks along. And I stayed calm. My world was shattering, my trust in my body was gone, and I was calm for my husband and my friends and my 9 month old. We were over the moon excited for a second baby and we lost that. I haven't felt like I can openly share the pain very well. I go to do things and I keep having this mental thought of how I'll be having another baby by the end of the year and then reminding myself I'm not. While everything else in life seems to be going so well, this aching emptiness where that baby should have been is constantly sucking me in. I openly communicate with my husband about this. He is 120% supportive, picking up the pieces where I've been struggling around the house and with our little girl. But it's really hard to heal from a loss that isn't tangible. I never held my baby or heard my baby or even a heartbeat, I mourn the opportunities and the dreams we had ahead. And I don't really know where to go from here. We want to try again but are terrified or another loss