Bitter about going back to work

I start work tomorrow 7 weeks postpartum. I’ve been off 8 weeks so far because I took the last week before I had my baby off. Which I don’t regret.

Anyways, I have 16 weeks I can take total for the year. The plan was to have a great financial cushion before we had our baby, but due to irresponsible spending we have nothing even close. So, here I go back to work. And I am bitter and mad about it. The reason being it was not my spending but my spouse that got us here. It’s the not making lunches, the beer, the cigarettes, all of those things add up to a lot of cash every month.

When I looked at our budget around 6 months, I realized the changes we had talked about hadn’t happened and was promised they would happen at that time. Well, they didn’t happen.

And now I’m so so SO angry. I feel almost abandoned. I am fortunate that I work from home.... I’m aware most don’t have that luxury. But I’m still so mad that I have to share time now between work and my baby.... and it’s just shitty.

I’m just feeling sorry for myself. Ugh! I’m happy for the women in Seattle who will have maternity leave paid next year. I’m just sad I don’t have that.

Thank you to anyone who took the time to read my gripe. I know a lot of people have it worse than I do. I’m just having a moment.... 😢