So I’m 19 and just moved back home from my first year of college, and my mom has completely changed in the way she treats me, but in the opposite way of what I’d expected. In high school, I proved time and time again that I’m responsible, and she’s always given me a lot of freedom including no curfew and not minding where I went as long as she knows where I am and who I’m with.

For college, I moved out of home and only come home occasionally, so for the past 8 months I’ve been in control of everything I do: when I sleep, if I study, if I go to class, what I do, who I’m friends with, etc. In that time, I’ve been working, I haven’t missed a single class, I’ve maintained a 4.0 GPA, and I’ve made great friends. I also occasionally go to a party or two where I’m extremely careful and always go with a group, have never drank or tried drugs or done anything illegal in general. I’ve gotten used to having a lot of autonomy, but I’m still just as much of a “good girl” as I was in high school.

Despite that, since I moved back in a couple of days ago, my mom has been acting weird and it came to its head tonight. I’ve always told my mom pretty much everything because we’ve always been super close because my dad isn’t in my life, but sometimes she only half listens to me and she tends to complain that I never leave her alone when I’m home. She’s normally my closest confident, so I do spend a lot of time telling her about my days.

I ended up making plans with some good friends of mine to go to a concert in a bar that’s a few hours away, and I let her know about this weeks ago. She wanted to know more information but didn’t seem too concerned about it, but tonight she completely freaked out on me. She went on a rant about how I’ve been making irresponsible choices lately, how I’m going to sacrifice my future or wind up dead in a ditch, and that she has no reason to trust my friends. She ended her rant with forbidding me to go to any bar until I’m 21 whether me or anyone I’m with is drinking or not (mind I’ve never drank before and she knows that).

I honestly don’t even know what to do from here, because now I feel like she’s treating me more like a child than she did when I was a minor, and now I’m wondering if I should even be confiding in her at all if she thinks occasionally staying up late to play board games or study with my friends is “irresponsible” and going to “sacrifice my future.”

I’ve always been the definition of someone who never does anything bad or rebellious. I’m an honors student involved in multiple organizations who does volunteer work in her spare time and has never even had her first kiss, for lords sake. For the first time in my life I’m wondering if I should be rebellious since I’m clearly going to be treated like a wild child even if I’m not. Any advice would be welcomed since I’m honestly at a loss right now.