Please I don’t want to hear “it’ll get better” because that’s what I’ve been hearing and instead of helping me I get upset because it hasn’t.

So my situation right now ... I am not going to lie I am a bit ashamed of the way I feel. I feel embarrassed and somewhat at fault for feeling this way. First off my first two kids where planned. If you’ve followed me I found out on February that I was pregnant with my 3rd baby. My daughter is currently 10m, when this baby is born she will be 1y3m. I think at first I was in shock, in real shock. I’m like wow another baby. But the feeling never went away and I started feeling sad. That was by the beginning of March. It’s gotten to the point where I am constantly crying asking God why another child. (Yes you get pregnant when you have sex but I was being careful). I cry a lot thinking how in the world am I going to do it with a third baby because my daughter is just so needy of me it’s ridiculous! I am so moody and I promise you not on purpose like I get frustrated way too easily and I don’t want my kids to pay the consequences of my life choices. I think how my life is ruined. Will I be attached to this baby when he or she is born because I feel this way now? The sadness worsen. This is where I don’t want no criticism weather you went through the same or not every news hits everyone differently and I just want a good legit thought or suggestion. Idk what to do anymore, I feel my life will not get any better. I need good advice because idk what to do and I haven’t spoken to my obgyn because I thought “I’ll get better” or I don’t want him thinking I’m going crazy or something. I have a good supporter at home my husband but he’ll never know what and how I’m feeling so I don’t expect him to know what to do. So I’m here putting myself out here asking for some honest advice in hope to find answers. I feel bad feeling this way almost like not wanting this pregnancy and I don’t want to think this way anymore.