Trigger Warning

_

_

_

_

_

_

My Ed has come back , Not behaviours as such but more like the thoughts .... I go too have food or i go plan what im having... but then i have the thought of "if you're just gonna have that what's the point" ... And "if you don't know what you're gonna have there's no point" .... Even too the point of the sight of food having the thought of "it doesn't look right, you don't know whats gone in there" ... etc etc ... Honestly idk what too do ... I've not really given in too behaviour/urges.. unless you count skipping meals and/or only eating certain food ... My body image is all over the place & Ik giving in further too these thoughts will give (temporary) comfort/control. .. I don't know what too do ... i can't eat cause then I'll feel physically and mentally sick etc ... But then if i don't eat i feel bad that im letting people down (even tho ... no one cares) ... what should i do ??