Need someone to talk too

I really want another baby so bad. But at the same time I’m scared something will happen to me 😭... with my first pregnancy i was a in deep depression in a bad relationship with my kids father ended up having my son 2 months early 31 wks from crying and stressing so much.. 5 months after he was born i got pregnant again this pregnancy i was single mom i didn’t want to put this baby through what i went through with my first pregnancy.. expect when everything was going well i got preeclampsia it was severe most scariest thing to experience 😞 at 34 wks the morning i had him i woke up with blur vision home alone with my 1 year old at the time i still don’t remember that whole morning .. my blood pressure was super high and caused me to have seizures 😣😣.. i woke up that’s it .. I’m currently 5 days on my period getting negative pregnancy tests. I talk to my doctor couple weeks ago to see if it would be ok to try for another baby she said it would be fine I’ll just have to monitored closely. I’m in a new healthy relationship praying for the best!