I got a negative pregnancy test and I’m relieved and disappointed at the same time. Don’t get me wrong I do want a child and possibly two. I just wish I had more time to wait. But I’m getting older and I feel like my time is running out. My healthiest child bearing years are almost over.

I’ve been with my husband for 11 years this month and I am soon to be 28.

I know he will be a amazing dad and I do look forward to watching him hold and love our baby and raise and teach our child.

He was driving home from work the other day and when he got home he told me, he saw a dad and his little girl the dad was building a trampoline in the front yard and the little girl was jumping around so excited. He said he realized how much he wants a child so he can do stuff like that for them.

I don’t understand why I felt so relieved that the test was negative I thought I wanted a positive. I think it’s because I wish I had more time. I just feel this rush that my time it running out.