Mother in law rant

Im sorry this is so long, it’s just a bunch of drama and I can’t talk to anyone about it

So my husband and I have been drafting a list of rules for hospital and home visitors. We lost our son at 6 weeks old, we are terrified of having another baby pass. So it’s a bit overboard but whatever.

So these rules are kind of directed at certain people in my family, they like to walk all over me. So the format is kinda rude but it’s more of “we are the bosses, what we say goes”. That way my family understands. We made two group chats, one for my side of the family and one for his. We sent it to his family just so if mine tries to complain, they can say they got it too. No big deal right? Wrong

My family was just like okay👍🏻 and was very understanding. I was worried they would be mad. My mother in law on the other hand freaked out. My husband called her to talk and she was crying and saying how personally she was taking it. He tried to remind her multiple times it’s not directed at her. She was not having it. So I’m getting annoyed, and she just won’t stop.

So we go to her house. My husband sits on the couch, I go to sit down. She’s yelling about how attacked she feels. I say that it was also sent to my family (I sent it to my family first too). So she thinks she is going to start yelling at me. I’m rude, so I immediately start yelling back. While we are yelling my poor husband is trying to just get a word in but can’t. She is sitting here saying I’m making this personal for her, she called me a bitch, called me “little girl” a few times. And I’m like no, you don’t get to just be shitty because you won’t listen. From there things derailed from this baby to my first son. I told her I had to put my grieving aside for 6 months now to make sure everyone could openly grieve. That I’ve had to deal with her doing everything she pleases with no regards to how I would feel.

She tried to tell me that everyone has been kissing my ass 🙄. Not a single person has even asked what I would need to help me process losing my son. But people kiss my ass, right. So anyway she kicks me out of her house, tell my husband to leave also. So about an hour ago (about 3 hours since the fight) my husband calls to try to calm the situation. I told him I’ll try to let him have this time. I wanted him to get his piece in. So they talk for a while and I’m getting annoyed at what she’s saying. But I stay quiet. That is until she decides to try to blame me for “coming at her crazy” and being just disrespectful off the bat. She said she would never imagine saying that stuff to her mil, and she deserves my respect. Oh that sent me off, I told my husband I can’t. If this is how it’s going to be I’m done she can stay away from us. It’s over. When she grows up and holds herself accountable then we can talk. But this lady is 42 trying to blame a 21 year old for her problems.

I’m just so over this. She’s always been a handful, I’ve been around for 4 years and never once heard her apologize for something she did wrong. 4 years.

To lighten the mood a bit here is a picture of my second son (the one I’m pregnant with now) flipping us off during the ultrasound 🥰