Do you agree with this?

Question

I just watched a very sad video of a father crying and holding his son. The sons mother has been in prison since 2010. They did not say what for. After she got out recently the courts are now taking primary custody away from the father and giving it to the mother. The father has been taking care of the boy all these years. The boy was crying and saying he didn’t want to go, that he wanted to stay with his father. I personally do not the courts should favor the mothers so much like I have seen. They did it with my mom when my dad tried to take me and my mom was abusive in all ways besides sexual for 18 years. I’ve seen it many other times as well. 
What are your thoughts on this? I think it’s a clear sign when the boy is crying to stay with his dad and not be with the mom.

Accepted Answer

I heard about that story and I don’t agree with it at all. Custody should go to the stable parent, not automatically the mother. A similar thing happened to a friend of mine. The mom got her daughter taken from her twice by cps for neglect and the father had to fight for over a year to get full custody. That poor girl was bouncing from foster home to her mothers neglectful home for a year before they finally gave the father custody.

Answer

I think the more stable and fit parent should “win” primary custody, and if they’re both good parents then split custody. 
And in this case: it doesn’t make sense for a kid to go live primarily with a parent they don’t even know. What kind of judge thinks that’s best for a kid?

Answer

Dads have a "deadbeat dad" rep...just because they are Male. I've worked in the court system and time and time again saw stable, loving, good fathers with jobs lose custody in favor of druggie, welfare, unemployed moms...simply because mom was female. It is very hard to take a child from a mother, even when the child should be taken. Our system is broken.

Answer

Depends on the state. A lot of states are no longer in favor of the mother being the primary custody holder.

Answer

Poor child. The stable parent should be the primary care giver. He doesn't even really know her.

Answer

It wasn’t that way for my husband. He was the more stable parent so he got custody of his kids over his ex wife.

Answer

I think it's complicated and should be decided on a case by case basis, and the child needs a guardian ad litem (i think that's what they are called) to represent the child and defend what is in their best interest. 
Basically, I agree with you. 
Our courts should not make sexist decisions. 
Sometimes the father is the better parent. Sometimes it's the mother. Sometimes both are good and you can split custody, although that could be interesting as a kid. I imagine as a kid I'd be ok with it, but some kids probably wouldn't like moving back & forth.

Answer

why did they give him to the mom though? i feel like there would have to be a significant reason when you factor in his time with his dad and the fact that bc of criminal record, she’ll have a harder time finding housing, jobs, etc. ?

Answer

How old was the son? When my parents divorced and my dad moved, I wanted to go with my dad and they (the courts) didn’t allow it. I think it’s bullshit. Having a vagina doesn’t mean you’re the better parent. I think children of a certain age should be allowed to choose, as well. As long as their choice isn’t dangerous for them.

Answer

I think there is more to the story we dont know

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