I really want to make it work but I don’t know if he will

My boyfriend and I having been together for almost 3 years and have lived together for 2.

We recently moved out from his parents house into our own apartment but we had been fighting a lot in the past few months. We had a massive blow out right after we signed the lease and I thought we had a break through.

You see he suffers with anxiety and refuses counseling, I have been dealing with my bipolar disorder since we met and have been stable for the past 6 months thanks to putting in a lot of self care and work.

After that fight I thought he was being real with me that he would get counselling. But when we starting moving he got more agitated and was really mean sometimes when packing or moving things like telling me to fuck off cause I was in his way I guess and I haven’t really been able to let it go. He just keeps telling me he is exhausted from his new job, which I do empathize with it is hard, 12 hours and continental shifts so working nights is especially hard for him.

But two days ago after we have moved in we had another epic fight. I dont even remember why it started but it almost ended with him leaving to go back and stay the night with his mom. He said really hurtful things and I probably did to but I remember really trying not to get so upset, I cant even remember what he said, one thing, I guess my mind purposely forgot cause I remember how bad it hurt and I still hurt. We talked it through but I don’t know if we really resolved anything. I told him he has to find time for himself because he so depressed but I dont know if it mattered.

Today he acted like it never happened and snapped at me a bit when I got home because he didnt sleep and has to work nights. When he left I didnt even want to kiss him or hug him but he did and then after text me saying he was so sad because he wants to sleep beside me.

I am just hurting and crying now. He is codependent I think, even my counsellor said. I have gotten so far in bettering myself and im trying to really be more mature and listen better and communicate more intelligently but I feel at a loss. We want to get married, he is absolutely the most beautiful human being I have met and really does so much for and has stuck it out when I struggled with my mental illness.

I can’t talk to my family and I have no close friends I trust so I’m here looking for outside opinions and I just really needed to vent. Thank you if you read this all, I’m sorry it is so long.