Slowly eating away at me

So I got diagnosed with herpes type 1 last year my ex cheated on my with random girls while we were together and he gave it to me. I’ve tried so hard to move on I talk to guys and go on dates and when I feel like we both like each other and it’s moving towards sex I tell them about the std. They always freak out and I automatically because this ugly, disgusting thing that they no longer like or want to be around or even talk to. Its happened a lot in the last 10 months and it’s really starting to take a toll on me I miss having a partner to be there for me both emotionally and physically and also having a partner to do things with but I’m always being rejected and it really hurts my self confidence is gone I don’t feel beautiful anymore and I’ve really started to feel like the disgusting human being that guys treats me as. I just don’t know what to do anymore.