We paid our rent yesterday!! 😊

I just want to speak my mind a little since I dont really have any friends.

So, my fiance works for my dad and my dad was SO kind enough to ask me if I wanted him to write my fiance's check yesterday instead of Friday so we could avoid even more extra late fees and I told him that yes, I would need to ask him for that favor and he was sweet enough to come through 😭!! and even though his whole check went straight to rent, I'm so happy we paid two days earlier than the date I had given our landlord.

Our water and electricity is also paid, but now we dont have money for groceries or diapers. Which is okay because I'll be going to some food pantries this weekend. I was supposed to get food stamps this week, 350 to be exact, but since I added my fiance, they brought it down to only 47 dollars 😫 which we already spent, buying the necessities like milk, bread, eggs, meat, produce.

As for diapers, we still have enough left until next paycheck/Friday so that he wears them over night. Right now, I have him pantsless and diaper less cause we're also potty training him so it works out!

Before we moved in, I told my fiance that we could not/just barely afford this apartment and I told him it wasn't a good idea. But he insisted and he was so excited that it was available when we were looking last year in September. He's on the spectrum (aspergers syndrome) so despite me doing the math on paper, showing him and explaining to him multiple times, he still didnt fully understand the extent of how much we would be struggling to afford this place. But now, 8 months in, he understands. He learned, and is still learning, the hard way.

I feel so bad as his partner, seeing him cry every time rent/bills come around. He tells me he feels useless, like he doesnt do enough or make enough. Every weekend, I have the same conversation with him. I'm not a therapist or a psychologist nor have I ever met anyone else on the spectrum but I try my best to explain why things happen or dont happen. Why he feels the way he feels, that he can in fact control his thoughts and his emotions. He doesnt know it, but he is very strong.

Last night, while putting up laundry, he comes into our bedroom, very happy and very excitedly says "we paid rent baby! give me a high five girl!".

Sorry if this is long, I can keep going but I wont lol.