Soo just a little background I seriously, and neither does anyone else, have any idea how my husband came from such dysfunction and bad upbringing. He is a wonderful man, love of my life and the only normal and stable one out of his mom dad and brother. His dad was an abusive alcoholic to his kids and wife and sold drugs through his childhood. His brother is a secret drug user and alcoholic and selfish. His mother abused drugs and alcohol when they were younger and is now is on social services because she can’t even function, she’s 50 but looks like she’s 80 and acts like a 2 year old. She claims to have all these medical probs and whines constantly. Also she’s dirty and chain smokes and lives in a drug poor part of MA. So then my mom and dad are the nicest people, bought a house close to ours when we got pregnant to be our child care so me and my husband didn’t have to worry about job changing and child care fees. They have their own nursery and supplies so me and my husband who are night nurses don’t have to scramble to try and make work schedules work. My parents never intrude but are reliable and supportive and most of all normal and loving. His family hasn’t been involved or asked me once anything even close to “how’s the pregnancy”. I don’t care because I can’t stand them. My FIL has been drunk and high every time I’ve HAD to see him he can’t remember my due date or his grandsons name. My brother in law could care less, has never said a word to me. My MIL thinks she’s gonna be a huge part of my kids life....she was just committed to a psych facility last summer for being “suicidal” for the millionth time. She’s such an attention seeker. She claims she has no money but finds it for her chain smoking and lottery ticket addiction. For my baby shower she brought this noise maker bear thing that was falling apart, smelled awful and was taped together. I opened all my gifts in front of people and I was like 😳. She also had the NERVE to try and tell my mother how to run my shower, when my mom and dad and best girlfriends thew it for me and my husband. My mom reached out but never got a response if she would like to hep/be involved. Thank god this happened before I got there because I have no problem telling her off. I’m also very self conscious about my belly and people touching it and she’s always forcing herself on me even when I say no, and it pisses me off so bad. So my husband and I agreed not to tell anyone about the baby until the next day at the earliest. I’m not even telling anyone I’m going to the hospital. I doubt his dad and brother would even really care, but his mom I don’t want around me during such a vulnerable time. Should my husband even tell her in advance or not say anything until the baby is here? I fee like it should come from him too. She’s so dirty I don’t even want her coming to see me with my newborn, but I know I’ll have to. My mother and husband and dad and lifelong friend are my support people and the only ppl I want involved. I can already tell it’s going to be an issue and then she doesn’t even know my parents are primary caretakers of my child either. I fee like that should come from my husband. She thinks is she will be able to take him all the time. She can’t even take care of herself. So should he address this before the baby gets here or just wait until the topic comes up? Also she’s a very dirty person and reeks of smoke, who should be the one to address that when she’s handling the baby. Sorry it’s a long post but the closer I get to delivery the more anxiety it gives me. Any input greatly appreciated! Thank you all! ❤️