hey guys. so i'm a sophomore in high school and i was talking to a senior. we got really close. we hung out for the first time yesterday, and we were getting into it and he touched my boobs and stuff. i have previously been sexually assulted and that's the furthest i've gone with someone by choice. so after he dropped me off, we were texting and something seemed off. i asked him what was wrong and he told me he is confused. he said he was scared of getting heartbroken again. he told me that he felt such a big connection that he got really scared. he said he doesn't know what to do and that we can't continue talking like we were. he meant so much to me, and i don't know what to do. i've been laying in bed crying all day even though its my birthday. i'm seriously devestated to the point where i'm considering suicide. i have a very bad past with mental health which includes suicide attempts. i am one month clean of self harm and i am trying my best to not ruin that. i think i might need to go to the hospital but i'm worried if i do, i will lose this guy forever... please help me