Loosing a patient

I work as an aid in the medical field and work mostly with clients on hospice.

I already know their fate is sealed and it's only a matter of time but I can't help but hurt when they pass away.

My first client's (took care of her for a year) death hit me hard. Felt like I lost my own mother and being with her so long and getting so close and attached to her.

And with each death I became less and less emotional. I do feel bad and sad about it but it's like my tears are all dried up.

And this makes me feel bad cause then it's like I didn't care that much for them yet I know I did. And I feel horrible for not having the same level of emotions for each death.

It's like something has changed in me getting to see people die all the time and I'm getting used to it and I hate it.

It makes me feel like something is wrong with me for having this mixed reactions and sometimes no reaction at all