Ugh ladies..

Up until 2 months ago I had been with and engaged to my sons father for 4 years. So much in that time happened. Before my son I was pregnant and lost our baby, my fiancé at the time was living away at school so I was alone and dealing with this.. and I got pregnant again shortly after with our soon to be 2 year old. During my pregnancy with him my sons father left me and went to stay with friends in another city, while telling me and his mother he just needs time to deal with everything, but still loved me and wanted a future with me. I later found out he was seeing and sleeping with multiple woman. I found conversations and even videos of him and other woman in sexual acts.. I was 7 months pregnant during this and was completely heartbroken.

Since then he’s begged for forgiveness and promised never to cheat again..

I know for a fact since our son he hasn’t been with other women but there’s still a lot of problems.. a lot of times he can talk down to me and be disrespectful which when I ended things on April I told him those are the main reasons. I’m not trying to bash him or make him out to be a terrible person, he’s a great father and we have shared amazing times together I just don’t know if that’s enough anymore.

Fast forward to now, I started talking to friend that I’ve been close with since grade 10.. I’m 23 now and it’s been amazing, I feel light when I’m around him, and I have fun with him. I know he wants more but I told him I’m not ready for anything too serious right now. I want to make sure before I get to attached, especially since I have my son to consider in all this.

His father has found out that I went out a couple of times with this friend and went ballistic and is now begging and telling me that he’s going to get help but can’t lose “our family” he’s told me that he doesn’t want me or our son around another man & no matter what this isn’t over. I don’t know what to do.. I hate the thought of breaking my family up but I’m not happy, my own family told me that I need to stick it out for my sons sake.. according to my grandmother all men are the same so I need to stay and teach the one I’ve been with how to treat me.

Im so tore on what to do.. I obviously still love this man but I don’t know if I’m in love with him anymore.. any advice? Sorry for the long post I just don’t have anyone to talk to in my life.