When you go out with our boyfriend, who pays?

Question

So this might be a silly question but I legit get anxiety from this and would just love someone’s help. So when you go out with your boyfriend like to the movies or dinner. How do you know who pays? I always get afraid to discuss it with him because I don’t want him to think I always want him to pay. I don’t think he would think that because I always offer to pay but I get so awkward when we go to pay I’ll see him get his card out and I’ll get mine out expecting to pay seperate or something but then he just pays and I’m standing there still holding my card 🤦‍♀️ idk why I’m getting so stressed and anxious about this but yeah please just help haha and please kind comments only x

Answer

There is no rule about this. It’s something you need to discuss with him instead of avoiding it.

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we always split it. Like if we’re going to dinner and a movie one pays for food the other the movie and we switch off

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We take turns. Or depending on when in the month it is, he'll pay because I don't make as much as him so it doesn't last me as long.

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We talk about it before we go out. It’s really not difficult. The vast majority offer time, he pays when we eat out because I pay for groceries. But we still discuss it beforehand every time

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We live together but all our finances ae separate.  We typically take turns paying.

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We use a card that we both pay equally for. Before that, he would pay more often than I would, but I would pay a lot just because I'm not comfortable with him paying all the time. You could make it a game too, seeing if you can pay it before him. I think it's so cute when couples do that. Or keep it simple and when he gets his wallet out, just say something like, "I can pay for mine," "oh I got this," or "this ones on me." You can throw in a, "no, you always pay, let me get this one." It helps if you already have your wallet out, helps even more if you have your method of payment ready to pay. Then you see what he says, like if he let's you pay or if hes like "no let me pay, I want to do it." You can also ask him how much the total is and offer to pay half. Carrying cash is also very helpful. Its easy to pay for things in cash, or to hand him some money for your share of the bill. You can pass it off like, "hey you always pay for me. Take this." Personally, I have a fear of things being held against me, so I dont like it when guys pay all the time, and I would say that even if he says he wants to pay, you should try to pay. However its really up to you. If hes one of those guys that just always likes to pay and you're fine with it then kudos, yknow. Offering to pay, whether or not he let's you, means a lot to most people. He probably notices you taking out your money and is being sly yknow. But I think it's worth it to offer to pay, kind of like "it's the thought that counts."

Answer

Just talk to him. If you can’t communicate, the relationship won’t last. Start by saying thank you. Offer to pay for the next date and if he says no... let it go. He’s telling you he wants to pay your way. 
Before my husband and I got married, he paid for dates. I offered money and he never wanted it. 
My son is 16.5, he pays for his dates. One girl refused to let him pay for her in any way which is totally fine but he said it was awkward because she made a big deal of it rather than say no thanks, I’ll pay for myself or accept and say thank you.  
Shit isn’t that serious. If he wants to pay, let him. Communication makes everything much easier.

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For now, him. Usually both of us pay

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He’s always paid for everything but he’s always made more. There was a period of time where he didn’t have much and I’d pay then.

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I’d say who ever organised it! Providing you’re about 50/50 with planning your dates.

When you go out with our boyfriend, who pays?

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