Not a cuddly wife ?

Question

My husband is different.
He likes to buy clothes, I like to invest in the home. He cared more about our wedding and how it looked than I did. He enjoys being touched, hugged & cuddled often - I don’t.
I’ve been stressed about the loss of our baby last year that would’ve been due next month & TTC this month...
Am I just a bitch for saying I want my space sometimes ? 
It is an effect from my childhood with my own mother not being affectionate with me ? 
Should my partner accept our differences & love me how I am ? 
I’m not 100% cold, but I describe myself like a cat. I love to be loved and give it when it’s time, but too much I get over stimulated and leave. 
Am I a bad wife ? How do you tell your husband you’re not “mushy” without seeming like you don’t love him ?

Answer

You need a compromise. You cant just ignore your partner's needs because you dont feel like it all the time. This is a team effort. That means you need to be a team player. Maybe have a designated cuddle time every evening or make a conscious effort to hold his hand in the grocery store ect. It doesnt have to be all the time but it can be sometimes. Also you should seek professional help from a grief counselor or psychiatrist about the loss of your baby.

Answer

You shouldn’t feel like a bad wife because you aren’t. Like the other girls said, you guys need to sit down and figure out a compromise. My boyfriend and I have been together for 7+ years, I’m VERY affectionate and he is NOT. But we accepted each other for who we are and we’re doing pretty well. 
He may be feeling like you don’t love him, and you need to tell him that you’re not built the same way he is, but that you’ll try to tend to his needs just like he needs to respect yours. I accepted that my boyfriend isn’t the most romantic guy, and I can’t hold that against him. Look into articles online if you’re having trouble coming up with ways to compromise. It helped us and hopefully it’ll help you guys too!

Answer

My bf loves physical touch, hugs, cuddles, hand holding and that stuff literally feels like second nature to me. So one day I decided we should read the five love languages and the book says there are five 1.quality time 2. Words of affirmation 3. Acts of service 4. Gifts and 5. Physical touch. 
He says a lot of couples feel like their love tank is never being filled because even though we know our significant other love us they are not showing love the way we interpret love. I can give my boyfriend all the gifts in the world and his love tank will be empty, I can spend all the time with him and do activities together but his love tank will only get so far. He needs physical touch. And I leaned I interpret acts of service as love. You can give me all the compliments in the world and he does and it does nothing for me. My complaints are always about how I need more help from him I need him to help me carry the load. That’s how I feel love by doing things. 
And often times that’s where we mess up, we end up giving love to our spouses the way we interpret love for ourselves. I’ll do everything for him without being asked because I know if it were done for me I’d be so happy so loved but it’s not what fill his heart up. He will literally cuddle me to death and I’m miserable because he’s expressing his love language to me. 
So we have to compromise in order to fill our significant others love tanks and vise versa and we have to tell them what we need in return. Trust me it’s not easy. I read that book last spring and it’s still a work in progress. You really have to get outside your comfort zone and remember love is not one size fits all. We all have different ways we feel loved. You can see it all over tv, the guy who works too much and his wife feels lonely so he buys his wife expensive jewelry thinking it’ll make her happy, she meets a guy who listens to her and talks to her and ends up falling for him, her love language was quality time her husband thought gifts was still a way to show love and it is but it wasn’t her love language and a lot of the time that’s where we fall short. Sorry to ramble, hope this helped though!

Answer

You both need to compromise and meet in the middle. If you can't do that then there is no reason to be married to anyone. You probably did learn those things from your mother but you can break the cycle and hopefully you do before you have kids so you can give them the mother that you needed.

Not a cuddly wife ?

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